


My Hands Are Shaking From Holding Back From You

by AdorkableAuthor



Category: Veronica Mars (TV), Veronica Mars - All Media Types
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-22
Updated: 2018-04-22
Packaged: 2019-04-26 14:06:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,605
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14403723
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AdorkableAuthor/pseuds/AdorkableAuthor
Summary: Five years between the cafeteria showdown and a reunion.





	My Hands Are Shaking From Holding Back From You

**Author's Note:**

  * For [labroussard](https://archiveofourown.org/users/labroussard/gifts).



> I was given (asked for, to be honest) the task of writing a piece for Laura's birthday. She is one of my biggest fans, both in writing and in life. I am so grateful for her cheerleading and friendship. Since I'm always broke and have little to offer, I wrote this for her. 
> 
> When asked what she wanted, she gave me the following as prompts/guidelines. From these (though not all are included), I turned it into a story.  
> \- love or banter scene with LoVe  
> \- Stalker. Black. Wine. Knee Highs. Gumbo. Beach. Popcorn.
> 
> Happy Birthday, Laura. Enjoy how I basically ignored most of those and went with the muse on this one. lol

August, 2007

 

Veronica looked down at her phone and sucked a little of her bottom lip into her mouth. She knew the caller and dreaded the conversation that was bound to happen if she answered. She was trying to celebrate her birthday with her two best friends before she packed up and went to Stanford. Her thumb still hovered though, right over the answer button. Her hands were shaking a bit. She wanted to talk to him, to hear his voice, to give him a chance to do something to get her to stay. But, she needed to go. She needed to move forward, not backward, and to think about her future. She needed to think about being happy and being stress-free and being out of the shadows that loomed over her in Neptune. After her internship at the FBI, she was positive she wanted to be a lawyer. She wanted to defend the innocent or help put the guilty in jail, where they belonged. No matter how strong the case seemed outside the courtroom, the lawyers made or broke the case. She wanted to be in control.

 

The phone beeped the alert of the missed call, the missed moment and Veronica shut the screen off. She would call him back, someday. She knew she hadn't meant that he was out of her life forever, even so much as telling him so. Her relationship with Piz however was over. That cafeteria moment between the three of them caused a rift too big for Piz to ignore and broke things off, amicably of course, before Veronica could run off to Virginia.

 

But, single was the best way to start over in Palo Alto. She would make new friends (while trying her best to keep up with Wallace and Mac) and meet new loves (while not to think of the Logan-sized hole in her heart).

 

She slipped her phone into her back pocket and turned up the music. She grabbed Mac and Wallace and danced until she couldn't picture Logan's puppy-dog eyes begging her to call him back.

 

 

New Years Day, 2009

 

Veronica groaned and looked up at the ceiling. She slowly turned her head, noticing the blonde mop next to her. For a split second, she thought of Dick Casablancas and shivered at the thought of waking up next to him. But, no, the mop wasn't Dick. It was Levi, last name unknown. They met in Civics class and he had invited her over for a New Years bash. In an attempt to become a normal college student, she accepted and tried to blend. She remembered drinking a bunch of shots as she correctly guessed answers to trivia, causing her and Levi to win over and over. She remembered tucking Levi into bed and him tugging her arm which made her fall onto the bed. A glance down saw she was in her clothes, missing a single shoe. A soft smile of relief graced her face and she relaxed.

 

That was until she heard the alert of a voicemail. She reached over, suspecting the call or the alert of the missed call was what actually woke her up. The time on her phone said it was early, nearly six am. She grumbled and checked her missed calls.

 

Logan's name showed up as if it were neon and lighted from the front and the back. It was impossible for her eyes not to be drawn to it. It was the first time he had called in well over a year. She wondered if he was still drunk, which she was starting to think she might be, or if he had gotten up early. Surfing on New Years wasn't unheard of and in Neptune, it was probably not too cold.

 

She eyed the icon alerting her of a voicemail and dreaded listening to it. It could be a million different things. He could be arrested or in trouble. It could be he missed her and wanted to hear her voice. It could be he moved on and was taking a huge step with a (hopefully) mystery woman.

 

Mac typically filled her in on big Logan news, like him dropping out of college or rejoining a semester later or serious girlfriends (only one, but they broke up months ago). She knew if Logan asked, Mac would fill him in on the same of her. She knows Mac was the one who told him about Stanford. She had meant to call him back before, but life got busy and she got distracted and any other excuse to make her feel less guilty.

 

Levi snored and reminded her of where she was. Levi was no Logan. He was nice and funny and playful. She knew he was interested in her. He was hot, and knew it, but he didn't let his ego rule him. He was interested in her for more than her body and they did have fun together. She trusted him enough to pass out drunk next to him.

 

Levi wasn't Logan, and that made her happy and upset at the same time. She still needed more time to get over Logan. She cleared the alert of the voicemail and set her phone back on the table next to the bed. She laid there for hours until she felt sober enough to drive home. Levi didn't wake up when she left.

 

 

May 2010

 

Veronica looked at the men and women in caps and gowns and clapped loudly when there were announced as graduates. She had done the same ceremony a week before in Palo Alto with her father and Cliff McCormack in the audience. This time, she sat next to her father and Alicia. She ignored the blush they gave one another and focused on cheering on her friends.

 

Her phone buzzed in her pocket, but she would call whoever it was back. This was Mac and Wallace's moment. She noticed Dick too and even clapped in his direction briefly.

 

“We are going to the Fennels for dinner, honey.” Keith Mars wrapped an arm around Veronica's shoulders. “If that's ok.”

 

Veronica smiled up at her father. “It's more than ok, Pops. It sounds great.” She thought about making a joke about how she and Wallace could gag all dinner at their googly heart-shaped eyes, but she decided against it. She hadn't seen her father this relaxed and happy in a long time and he deserved it and more. She might even conspire with Wallace to leave the two parents to their own devices and go out to celebrate with Mac like proper college grads.

 

Another phone buzz in her pocket and she gave in. The crowd was mostly standing around talking about how proud they were of their loved one. Veronica reached behind her and pulled the phone out of her pocket and answered it without looking at her caller ID. “Yello.”

 

“You forgot to look at your phone so you could ignore my call.” His tone was truthful, but offered a sense of humor.

 

“I'm feeling happy today and threw caution to the wind, Logan.” She smiled at the sound of his voice. It filled her with nostalgic bliss that it didn't really deserve. “I just saw your buddy graduate.”

 

“Yea? I'm proud of him.” Logan chuckled. “I would have been there, but I heard you might be showing up, so I figured I would avoid the awkward chit chat.”

 

“So, you call for it instead?” Veronica smirked. As awkward as she thought this conversation was going to be, it wasn't. She remembered how easy it was to talk to him when she wasn't hiding feelings.

 

“Well, to be fair, I didn't actually expect you to answer.” Logan's humor was gone. Veronica saw the puppy-dog eyes in her head.

 

“So, what was this message going to say?” Veronica didn't feel like dwelling.

 

“I'm not in town so you should feel at ease. I wish I had been, for Dick, but busy little bees have kept me occupied.”

 

Veronica realized she was missing something. “Where are you?”

 

His chuckle confirmed it. “If you listened to messages, you would know. I'm filming a series in New Zealand.”

 

“You are acting?” Veronica's eyes widened as she thought of him taking after his parents' footsteps.

 

His laugh echoed in the phone. “Hell no.” He calmed a bit. “I'm a lead writer. I created the show. I might have used some contacts of dearest daddy, but I'm sticking behind the camera.”

 

Veronica's face softened. “That's fantastic.”

 

“Well, it would be fantastic if you had watched the first season. We're doing the second season now.” He chuckled and Veronica felt the guilt tugging inside.

 

“Still, congratulations. I'm very impressed.” Veronica sensed the fake tone she was using and hated it. She was impressed, but not that he made a TV show. She was impressed that he moved on and was doing something he was obviously passionate about.

 

“Mac told me you graduated from Stanford.” He questioned the statement, as if he wasn't sure it was accurate.

 

“I did, last weekend. I'm off to Columbia next, I think.” Veronica waved to her father and Alicia and decided to sit out the crowds before she sat in traffic for an hour.

 

“Wow. For law school?” Logan asked.

 

“Yea. I want to say I was preparing for real winters in Palo Alto, but I know I'm in for a shock.” She chuckled and winced at the lame joke.

 

“Look-” Logan started and Veronica sighed. “I know we are both trying to act like not talking for so long was natural. I'm sure it's fair to say it sucked. I'm really glad you answered today, even if you didn't know it was me. I'm really glad you are succeeding in life. I want you to be happy. I want both of us to be happy.”

 

“Logan...” Veronica smiled and raised her chin a bit. “Me too.”

 

“Do you think we could be friends? I do miss you. For seven years, you were there and then you weren't. I've missed you. No one banters as well as you.”

 

Veronica chuckled a true laugh and she relaxed. “Surely, you aren't really looking.”

 

“I'm hoping you'll answer my calls now.”

 

Veronica nodded, mostly to herself. “Sure, but we're friends. We are too complicated to try anything else.”

 

“Although my penis is talented, I don't think it can reach New York from here.” He had to be smirking. “Friends sounds great, since I was the one who asked for that.”

 

“So, anything off limits? Or should I treat you like Mac and Wallace?”

 

“Wallace doesn't allow talk about me.” Logan's inner knowledge of how Veronica communicated with her friends startled her a bit, but she didn't let it get to her. Wallace wasn't known for boy talk.

 

“True, but Mac does, as long as it's a two way street.” Veronica kicked her legs up on a vacant chair. “So, want to know everything or should I maybe keep romance out of our communications?”

 

“Do you have romance?” His voice seemed smaller all the sudden.

 

“I am single and ready to mingle. But, there's a lot of guys in New York, right?”

 

“I haven't looked, but I would assume.” He must have covered the phone with his hand as his voice became muffled and there was a bit of static on the line. He returned shortly though. “I have to get going. We have a shoot to wrap up.” He sighed. “I'm glad you finally answered. Call me anytime.”

 

“I'm glad I did too. Take care, Logan.” Veronica ended the call and let out a slow breath. “That wasn't so bad.”

 

 

November 2010

 

“Logan, I really don't have time to talk right now.” Veronica's panted breath came out a little harder than she had planned.

 

“And what are you doing?” Logan flirted back. Of course, he would think she would be in the middle of a heated romantic session or maybe even a daily treadmill run. He really should have known better.

 

“Hiding from a guy who is twice my size.” Veronica whispered back while she crouched down and kept an eye out for the guy hunting her.

 

“Seriously?” Logan lost his flirty tone. “Where are you?”

 

“Nowhere you can get to. I'll call you back.” Veronica hung up and knew he would be panicking the entire time she made him wait. She ducked down behind some garbage cans and waited. The police took two minutes to show up and her would-be-attacker was placed in handcuffs.

 

After giving her statement to the police, she plucked her phone from her pocket and tapped Logan's name.

 

“Are you ok?” He panted the words out.

 

“Peachy.” Veronica smiled. “Sorry to scare you.” She really had it under control. His timing was to blame for his worried uncertainty.

 

“What happened?” He was calming down.

 

“Believe it or not, he didn't like having his photograph taken.” She exhaled softly. “I'm having some trouble making ends meet, so I got hired as a PI in the city.”

 

“I doubt you'll take it, but you can ask me if you need money.” Logan gave a small whine. “You being safe is worth something to me.”

 

“I'm fine.” Veronica shrugged. “Thank you, though.”

 

“Are you in a dorm?”

 

“Sort of. It's student-friendly housing. I have a little, tiny studio apartment as long as I'm in school. It's only costing an arm instead of the usual arm/leg combo.” Veronica sat on the curb and relaxed. “How are you?”

 

“Better than I was fifteen minutes ago.” Logan sounded like he was smiling. “How's the city otherwise?”

 

“Alive. I have never been somewhere that feels like it's breathing. It's electric.” Veronica smiled back. “School is good. I'm learning the city. I'm not as out of place as I thought I was going to be.”

 

“You never cared if you were, even before Lilly died.” Logan's voice got quiet. “I like you in New York. I would like to come see you, maybe take you to some places I liked to visit.”

 

Veronica thought it over for a couple seconds. “You should just send me a list.”

 

“One day, we'll be in the same place at the same time and you'll have to deal with the feelings, Veronica.” He sounded upset.

 

“I'm dealing.” Veronica huffed back. “I'm going to go home and see if I got the photo I needed.”

 

“Get home safe.” Logan sighed in defeat.

 

“I always do.”

 

 

April 2011

 

“Logan's phone.” A woman with a raspy voice answered.

 

It startled Veronica enough to force her brain to lock up. She didn't say anything.

 

“Hello?” The woman tried again.

 

“Is Logan there?” Veronica asked softly.

 

“One sec, hun.” The line went silent and Veronica had to check to make sure it was still connected.

 

“Veronica! Hello!” Logan sounded cheerful and possibly drunk.

 

“Logan.” She greeted him flatly. “Am I interrupting something?”

 

“Wrap party for the movie. I told you about that, didn't I?” Logan slurred. “I'm in Los Angeles. Dick's here somewhere, I think.”

 

“Oh, yea, you told me you were shooting out there.” Veronica nibbled on her lip. “The movie is done then?”

 

“Well, I'm done with it, the actors are done with it. It's up to the director and editors now.” Logan laughed at something.

 

“So, what is next for Logan Echolls, screenwriter?”

 

“I'm thinking I'll actually sit down and write more.” He chuckled. “Dick was talking about going on vacation, so I might join him on that.”

 

“Where are you two going? Finally somewhere romantic?” Veronica chuckled lightly.

 

“I steered him clear of New York, you know. I could steer him right back.” Logan chuckled. “I'm trying to respect your wishes to remain phone buddies.”

 

Veronica sighed. “It's working for us, Lo. We stay up to date, assuming we remember things, and there's no drama.”

 

“Nothing like a woman answering my phone and you thinking she's my girlfriend?” Logan teased.

 

“I was shocked by the voice, but wouldn't be shocked if you had a girlfriend.” Veronica admitted out loud. She held onto the twinge of jealousy electrifying her body.

 

“Full disclosure, I am seeing a woman. Not the one who answered. That was Sam, my assistant. Normally, she wouldn't answer my personal cell, but I left it out and she didn't think I would want to miss your call.”

 

“I appreciate you telling me about your lady and Sam. Thank Sam for me.” Veronica wanted to time travel to before he said anything about a girlfriend. It took all she had in her to keep her voice calm and civil. “And I know I said nothing was off limits, but is it ok if I don't ask about the woman?”

 

“Of course. You'll notice I don't ask about the guys.” Logan's voice softened. “Look, I have to go party, but I'm glad you called.”

 

“Me too. Enjoy your moment, Logan.” Veronica hung up and pouted.

 

 

August 2011

 

“I just want to relax.” Veronica flopped face down across her couch.

 

“But, I want to go out.” Casey Gant grinned. “When was the last time you went out and actually partied for your birthday, Mars?”

 

“Um. I don't really like to go out. I like to stay in. I like to pig out on take out and watch movies I've seen and mock them.” Veronica pouted and looked up at him.

 

“I'm your only friend in the city. I would have called in your Neptunian friends had I known this was going to be a problem.” Casey sat on her legs.

 

“Neptunian?” Veronica smirked. “You make them sound alien.”

 

“You have to admit that it's a whole nother world here compared to there.” He patted her calf. “Come on, Veronica. We'll go VIP and it'll be a lot of fun. I can get us into some exclusive clubs.”

 

“Casey, I'm not into clubs.” She sighed.

 

“At least let me take you out to dinner. Somewhere nice. It's a present.” Casey's hand inched towards the bottom of her foot and started to tickle.

 

Veronica giggled and squirmed, but couldn't get away with him sitting on her. “Stop! Ok! Dinner!”

 

Casey jumped up to his feet and twirled around before he reached out to help her up. “Shower, hair, dress, go! I'll call and make a reservation at my favorite place in the city.”

 

Veronica stood in front of him. “And just like that, you'll get us in?”

 

“I own and operate a huge publishing house. I have connections. Scoot, I'm hungry, birthday girl.” Casey winked and turned her around before he gave her a small push towards her bathroom.

 

She showered and dried her hair before she applied makeup and a simple black dress. She walked out to the living room and found Casey on her phone.

 

“Oh, there she is.” Casey smiled and gave her a once over. “And she looks stunning, man.”

 

Veronica tilted her head and squinted her eyes a bit. “Who are you talking to?” Knowing it was probably someone who called her made her very curious. Knowing it was someone Casey also seemed to know made her squirm inside her skin. The options were limited.

 

“Logan called. I hope you don't mind that I answered.” Casey grinned and tilted the phone back to talk into it. “I'm going to hand the phone over, but it was great catching up with you, dude.” He nodded as Veronica suspected Logan said a farewell before he handed the phone over to her.

 

Placing the phone to her ear, she exhaled nervously. “Logan?”

 

“Hey. I wanted to call and wish you a happy birthday.” Logan's voice was soft.

 

“Thank you.” Veronica sat on the couch as she slipped her feet into heels. “Casey is dragging me out. You just missed the kicking and screaming.”

 

“He told me he wanted to go clubbing, but you compromised with dinner. I'm glad you are letting someone spoil you on your special day. I'm a bit shocked to find out it's Casey though.”

 

Veronica smirked as she heard the bathroom door close. Casey was freshening up. “I ran into him about a month ago. He moved out here to operate his company.”

 

“Your social life doesn't need to be explained, Veronica. You can 'hang out' with anyone you want.” His tone changed a bit when he said 'hang out'. He sounded a tad jealous.

 

“It's dinner, Logan. I think we caught a lunch sometime a couple weeks ago.” Veronica sighed as she moved a wallet and some lipstick into a smaller purse.

 

“Casey is better than Madison, so I'll give you that. That is if you wanted to keep score.”

 

“Logan.” Veronica sighed. “I'm not sleeping with Casey.”

 

“If you were, I wouldn't have a say over it. Casey is a nice enough guy.”

 

Veronica checked the bathroom door with a glance. “Casey is a great guy who I'm lucky enough to befriend here.”

 

“No, I get it. He's the 09er without the baggage.” He didn't seem to understand her. She needed to change her tactics.

 

“Why are you starting a fight?” Veronica asked calmly.

 

Logan sighed. “I am jealous.”

 

“Don't be, not of Casey.”

 

“So, is there someone I should be jealous of?”

 

“Not currently.” Veronica picked a loose thread off her dress. “Even if there was, it's not an excuse. This friendship doesn't work if you are jealous of random guys in my life.”

 

“You were jealous of Sam.” Logan returned.

 

“I was startled by Sam. I got over Sam pretty quickly because I took you at your word. Sam wasn't someone you were going to sleep with, especially if you had a girlfriend. Do you still have the girlfriend?”

 

“No.” Logan didn't offer any more information.

 

“I'm sorry.” And she was. She didn't want him to be alone. “How's the writing?”

 

“Fine. Look, I'm going to go. Have a good night out with our friend, Casey.” She still heard the envy in his voice.

 

“Thank you for calling, Logan.” She was appreciative of his call and the motive behind it.

 

“Happy birthday, Veronica.” At least he was trying to calm down, but he did hang up without giving her a chance to say goodbye.

 

Casey came out of the bathroom and smiled. “Ready?”

 

She needed to keep her focus forward and not dwell in the past. She was on the path of leaving the drama behind her. She certainly didn't want to think about it tonight. Veronica nodded and stuffed her phone into her purse. “I might let you talk me into a club, if I get dessert.”

 

Casey grinned and offered an elbow.

 

 

Christmas Eve 2011

 

“Merry Christmas!” Veronica cheerfully answered the phone with a bit a of a loud greeting.

 

Logan laughed. “You too, sugarpuss. What are you up to?”

 

“I was decorating my father's new house, but we ran out of tinsel. This place is a bit bigger than the apartment. So, now, waiting for him to return with more everything, I guess.” Veronica sipped her eggnog. “You? Where did you jet set this year?”

 

“I'm in Paris. It's Christmas morning.” Logan yawned.

 

“Well, Happy Christmas, Logan. That's what Europeans say, right?” Veronica chuckled.

 

“Sometimes, yea.” Logan chuckled. “I won't be long. I think Dick wanted to find some place open for breakfast today and I suspect that will take a while. But, I didn't want to let another holiday go by.”

 

Veronica froze. “Logan?” It would be just like Logan to do some random grand gesture out of nowhere and take her by surprise. She wasn't ready for them anymore. She wasn't sure how she would react if he did something big.

 

“I usually mess up around holidays. I do stupid things because I'm angry or bitter or too drunk to realize it's stupid until later. I just wanted us to have a good holiday memory.”

 

“So, you calling me from France is that good memory?” Veronica gave a half laugh.

 

“Well, I went to bed early and woke up without a hangover. I get to hear your voice as my Christmas present. It won't be a bad memory.” He sounded happy and content.

 

Veronica blushed a bit. “Fair enough. Did you get what you wanted from Santa?”

 

“Not yet. But, the day isn't over yet.” Logan cooed.

 

The doorbell rang and Veronica jumped. Big blue eyes blinked at the door and tried her best not to hyperventilate. “Logan, if you are at my door, you need to tell me right now.”

 

Logan laughed. “I'm not. I promise. But, you should still answer it.”

 

Veronica slowly stood and walked to the door. With a shaking hand, she reached out and opened it. She blinked at the delivery man in a Santa hat with a small package in his hand.

 

“Special delivery for a Veronica Mars.” He smiled as he held out a clipboard. “I need you to sign here.”

 

Veronica tucked the phone between her ear and shoulder and took the clipboard. She signed her name and handed it back.

 

The man handed her the box, which was roughly eight inches long and one and a half inches tall. “Happy Holidays, Miss Mars.”

 

Veronica nodded with a smile. “You too.” She backed up and closed the door. “Did you send me something?” She was unsure of what was happening. Logically, she knew all would be revealed if she just took the time to let things happen, but she couldn't keep the question inside.

 

“Open it.” Logan ordered softly.

 

“I didn't get you anything.” Veronica sat on the couch and looked at the label. There was no return address.

 

“I don't want anything from you except you to be happy. Open it.”

 

Veronica grabbed scissors she had used for wrapping presents and cut the tape on the box. Inside, she pulled a plastic wrapped velvet jewelry case from the cardboard box. “Logan, this better not be what it looks like.”

 

“I didn't spend that much. It wasn't anywhere close to the down payment on a car, even something you would drive.” He teased.

 

Veronica pulled the plastic off and set it on the table. “I'm not sure I can accept this.”

 

“Well, I don't want to return it, so you better.” He chuckled. “Stop stalling and open the box.”

 

Veronica huffed. “Ok, Brad Pitt, I'm just building the tension.” She smirked and popped the lid of the velvet case up. Inside, strung out, was a charm bracelet. On the clips were charms showing a soccer ball, a lily flower, a camera, a magnifying glass, a couple playing cards and a pair of flip flops. “Logan...” She let out a giggle as a smile crept upward on her face.

 

“I almost got the little surfer dude, but you hated surfing. You and Lilly loved to lay on the beach though. So, flip flops were my compromise.” He paused. “I.. I wanted to show you that you had good times in California. That it is your home, even if you stay in New York. That it made you this amazing woman you are today.”

 

“Logan, it's beautiful. Thank you.” Her fingertips lightly touched the charms.

 

“It's not too immature? If it is, you don't have to wear it.” Logan sounded nervous.

 

“It's fantastic. I'm putting it on right now.” She pulled it from the box and secured it to her wrist. She pulled her phone away from ear and snapped a photo. She quickly sent it to him in a text. “Thank you.”

 

“You are welcome.” He paused again and chuckled. “Looks good on you.”

 

“I still feel bad I didn't get you anything.” Veronica played with the charms. It meant a lot to her that he would think of her this much.

 

“You got me a fantastic, sexy picture of your wrist and hand, adorned by the finest jewelry.” He chuckled. “Also, good memory.”

  
The front door opened and her father walked in with bags full. Veronica gasped softly and blinked up at him. “My dad is back and it looks like I'll be decorating all night.” Veronica laughed, even though she knew that moment with Logan was fading.

 

“Well, I'll let you get to it. Merry Christmas, Veronica.” She pictured his face soft and sweet.

 

“You too. Thank you.” She hung up the phone and set it on the coffee table. Looking up at her father, she shook her head and laughed. “Did you buy out the whole store?”

 

“I want us to have a nice holiday.” Keith pouted a bit. “Come on, elf. Help!”

 

Veronica giggled and took a bag.

 

 

March 2012

 

“I'm terribly busy right now.” Logan's voice was angry, but Veronica knew it wasn't at her.

 

“Call me later?” She offered in friendly tone.

 

He sighed and she heard some shuffling of papers on the other side. “No. I'm sorry. It's great to hear your voice.”

 

“Why are you so stressed?” Veronica laid back and closed her eyes. She heard the water slapping against the concrete.

 

“I'm doing this treatment on a script and it's been sent back three times already with ridiculous notes.” He paused. “Why aren't you stressed right now?”

 

“I'm on spring break.” Veronica smiled.

 

Logan chuckled. “And where did you road trip to this year?”

 

“I'm at Casey's apartment building.” She giggled. “He's letting me use his indoor pool as a vacation spot so I can save money.”

 

Logan gave an annoyed sigh. “Still hanging out with Casey?” He must still have delusions about his fellow 09er.

 

“Yes. And his lovely girlfriend.” She smirked and sipped her lemonade. She hesitated a bit, but eventually added the kicker “I am kind of seeing a guy though.”

 

“Full disclosure sucks.” He griped.

 

“Sometimes.” Veronica looked out at the skyline. “I don't want to have either of us assume something that just isn't going to happen.”

 

“What would we assume?” Logan asked softly.

 

“Happy endings.” Veronica's voice softened. “I'm just trying to be normal, to do what normal people do.”

 

“Maybe you have problems achieving normal because you are abnormal.” Logan offered.

 

“I'm trying not to take that as an insult.” Veronica pouted a bit.

 

“Good. It's not one. Normal is boring. Normal is average. You are above it.” Logan argued. “I hope the guy you are with is normal and boring. It means he won't last long.”

 

“So, now you are wishing my relationships to end? Logan.” She felt her blood starting to boil. “I want to be normal. I want nice guys who don't cause me trouble or drama. I've had enough of both.”

 

“And you don't think that's me?” Logan's voice was soft and raw.

 

Veronica sat up on the lounge chair and tried not to squirm under the weight of the loaded question. “I thought we were just friends.”

 

“We are.” He cleared his throat. “Tell me about this guy of yours.”

 

Veronica shifted a bit. “You don't really want to know, do you?”

 

“No, but I want you to understand that I'm here, for you, regardless of who you date. I'm your friend. I am just your friend.” It sounded like he was trying to tell himself more than her. “I'm sorry. I'm taking out some of this frustration of this script on you. It's not fair.” His voice softened. “I really hope this guy makes you happy. If you want to be normal and he makes you feel normal, then I'm glad.”

 

Veronica took a moment to breathe. “Thanks.” She thought about adding on more, but she felt she was sharing too much with him as it was. “I'm going to swim. I'll talk to you later. Kick that screenplay's ass, Echolls.”

 

Logan chuckled. “Will do. Take care.”

 

 

July 2012

 

“Case, I don't want to go to a party.” Veronica tilted her head back. She heard the whine in her voice and scrunched up her face at it.

 

“Too bad.” Casey smiled down at her. “You don't have school. You don't have work. You are due for a night off.”

 

“I've had plenty of nights off. What I want is a night on.” Veronica smirked a bit. Casey was easy to flirt with now that he was engaged to his girlfriend. It was harmless.

 

“Too late, Mars. Sara said yes.” Casey flopped on the couch next to her. “Come on.” He nudged her shoulder with his own.

 

Veronica looked over to him with an intense stare. “Can I wear pajamas?”

 

Casey laughed. “Sara's meeting you in an hour to go dress shopping.” He slapped his hand down on her knee. “Our treat for the stalker issue.”

 

Veronica blinked. “You already paid for that.”

 

“Sara wanted to pay more and I told her you wouldn't take another check.” Casey gave a smug grin. “And pack an overnight bag. The party is in LA.”

 

Veronica's mouth dropped a bit. “I can't just go to LA for the night.”

 

“You literally have nothing keeping you here. That jackass you were dating is left in the dust. I'm your only friend. You should go home. Maybe see your dad, too.”

 

“I just saw my dad a couple months ago.” Veronica straightened. “And I have more friends.”

 

“I invited Wallace and Mac.” Casey grinned. “And other Neptunians.”

 

Veronica raised a brow. “Other? Did you forget their names already?”

 

“Well, I'm guessing Dick won't be a selling point, but maybe Logan would be.”

 

Veronica felt her body shiver. Just the name on someone else's lips caused her to remember private moments. She looked up to Casey and saw he noticed it.

 

“Sara will be here soon.” He leaned in close to her face. “You girls have fun.” He kissed her cheek and chuckled.

 

 

Walking around the dress shop that Veronica had been too broke to even dream about entering on her own, Sara smiled. “So, I know this party is fancy. We'll be formal. I think Case will be in a tux.”

 

“Of course he will.” Veronica walked around a rack and looked at a dress. She looked over at Sara and offered an apologetic smile. Her mood was just because she was nervous. Sara didn't understand how big of a night this could be. She didn't understand that Veronica had been avoiding it for over five years.

 

Veronica remembered whens he first met Sara. Knowing Casey to actually be a nice 09er, she wasn't surprised to find his new love to be nice as well. Sara was sweet and funny and honest. She was also very kind. Born on the upper east side of the city, she was raised in privilege. But, on the day Veronica met her, she had served lunch to the homeless and spent the afternoon helping kids learn how to read. Veronica learned later that she was living off her family money, but helping those without on a daily basis. The best part was she hadn't told Veronica about her charity work at all. She wasn't trying to impress Veronica. She just wanted to meet Casey's childhood friend who lived in the city. Since then, they had a decent friendship of their own.

 

“What about something like this?” Sara pointed to a long, sleek silver dress.

 

Veronica walked over to it. She liked the overall look, but silver tended to draw more attention than she really wanted. “Maybe not a disco ball?” She offered a small smirk.

 

Sara giggled. “Fair enough. How about something short? Will it be cold in LA?”

 

“In July? No.” Veronica turned when she saw a flash of blue out of the corner of her eye. She walked towards it and smiled in awe up at the dress. “This one.” Slender fingers reached out and gently took the thin material between them.

 

Sara followed and grinned. “Let's try it on.”

 

 

After nearly six hours in the air in Casey's private company jet, Veronica was happy to be on solid ground again, even it was in California. Stepping off the plane, she breathed in the salty smog and gave a crooked grin.

 

“So, we'll get to the hotel, get rooms.” Casey held up a hand. “I put it on the company card. Enjoy the suite.” Veronica gave him a glare, but remained silent. “Then, we'll get dressed and fancy and go to dinner before skipping over to the party.” He finished.

 

“I am but a humble accessory on this ride of lifestyles of the rich and famous.” Veronica nodded. “I do appreciate the food, though.” She grinned.

 

“I am no fool. I know the way to keep you placated is by keeping your belly full.” Casey chuckled.

 

Veronica nodded. “It does help.”

 

“So, still nervous?” Sara asked as she wrapped her arms around one of Casey's.

 

“A little. It's sort of like walking into the belly of the beast. I know what's going to happen. The question is am I ready for it?” Veronica mumbled.

 

“You want out, I'll get you out.” Sara walked over to Veronica and placed a hand on her shoulder. “Just say the word.”

 

Veronica looked up into Sara's eyes and smiled. She gave a little nod. “Food first though.”

 

Casey chuckled. “Priorities.”

 

 

Logan Echolls looked at the email again. Casey Gant, childhood friend and perhaps popularity rival, was someone who he felt he could never trust completely. Though Casey never did anything to betray Logan, the two seemed to follow similar paths. And Logan remembered a longing look or two that Casey gave Veronica in high school.

 

But, the email was a peaceful one, and honestly, it gave Logan some hope. Casey understood that Veronica still had some sort of feelings for Logan, and given her inability to deal with feelings honestly and openly, she needed a push. That push was the Gant Publishing Annual American Firework Show and Party. It appeared that Veronica had made it on a plane heading right to Logan's neck of the woods and Casey knew the two had to see each other.

 

What impressed Logan was Casey knew not only to invite Dick as Logan's backup and potential drinking buddy should the night not go as planned, but to also invite Wallace and Mac, so Veronica could feel at home. Parties weren't Veronica's favorite thing, and given the circumstances when she was sixteen, he was more than willing to accept that about her. But, Casey got her to agree to come to a fancy night. In the email, Casey stated that Veronica knew who would be there, even if he hadn't handed over the complete guest list. He wasn't surprising her with Logan's attendance. The party wasn't an attack. It was an open door. Logan just had to hope Veronica would walk through it.

 

He met Dick for a quick bite before they changed into their tuxedos. Logan was lucky to have one that fit so well. He had done the award ceremony circuit recently and while he tried to stay away from the red carpet and microphones, he was urged to attend and cheer for the projects he was included in. He straightened the bow tie and let out a slow breath. He was trying not to think of who he would be seeing in a short time.

 

“Dude, do you think she'll have a date?” Dick stumbled in and fumbled with his tie.

 

Logan raised a brow. “Who?”

 

Dick nudged Logan away from the mirror and continued to work with his tie. “Your ex. Last you heard, she was seeing some douche, right?”

 

“I don't know what he was.” Logan watched his friend struggle with the black strip of material. “I don't want to know.”

 

“But, you are going to profess all your lovey-dovey feelings and she's just going to be 'But, Logan'-” Dick tilted his hip and clenched his hands to his chest while speaking in a higher pitch. “-'I'm with someone. We can't do this!' and you'll cry and drink and I'll have to drag you out of the party, while I miss out on hot, formal ass.”

 

Logan smirked a bit. “Do you think she would come here if not to be with me?”

 

Dick growled and threw the bow tie onto the floor. “I think she's bored of playing with Casey and wants to play with you.”

 

“I don't think she's playing with Casey. He seems pretty interested in reuniting her with me.” Logan picked the bow tie up off the floor. “I think Casey is trying to be on my side.”

 

Dick opened Logan's closet and flipped through until he found a thin black tie and walked to the mirror. He started to tie it. “I think tonight is a mistake. I think you'll end up worse than the night she dumped you for sleeping with Madison.” Dick held up a single finger. “But, I'm still going to go.”

 

“Dick.” Logan sighed.

 

“Nah. I get it. I couldn't stop you from going unless I tied you down, and to be honest, I'm just not into you that way.” Dick grinned at his friend in the mirror. “You and Roni are epic. I just don't think you realize the collateral damage left behind when you two uncouple.”

 

“I don't think we can help it.” Logan shrugged. “It's not intentional.” His mind wandered to high school and their first year at Hearst before she left and he picked up the pieces to his life. He knew that Dick had been there helping him.

 

Dick shook his head and straightened the tie. “Never is.” He shimmied his shoulders. “Ok. Enough of this girly emotional bullshit. I'm ready to party.”

 

 

Walking into the large ballroom, Logan let out a slow whistle. “Who knew Casey knew so many people?” The room was packed with people in formal wear. He recognized some people, but he didn't see the host or his two dates yet.

 

“See the one who got far away?” Dick scanned the crowd briefly before he stopped a waiter and plucked two chutes from him.

 

“No. It's early, yet. Maybe their plane was late getting in.” Logan knew it was too soon to worry that she'd run. Just hours ago, she had agreed to get on a plane. At the very least, he was sure she was in the same city as him. If need be, he would go looking for her.

 

“Drink.” Dick held a chute towards him. “You are getting that crease in your forehead. Relax.” He drank a bit.

 

Logan nodded and took the glass. “Right.” He rolled his shoulders back and took a second to calm his thoughts. It had been five years. Maybe she wouldn't run.

 

“Let's go get some real drinks and see who we can remember from high school.” Dick wagged his eyebrows and finished his chute.

 

Logan nodded and sipped his chute as he followed his friend through the crowd. He kept his eyes open, but he felt her before he saw her. He turned and audibly gasped.

 

Standing at the top of a large staircase that lead into the room was his ex, Casey and the woman who had to be his girlfriend, Sara. Casey and Sara looked well enough for this shindig, but Logan's eyes were glued to the petite blonde in a strapless tornado of blue. The dress hugged over her torso, giving her a bit of cleavage, but flowed around her legs. It was hombre, starting dark blue at the top and becoming a pale baby blue as it kissed the floor.

 

“Dude. They dressed as a triple.” Dick sighed behind him.

 

Logan blinked as he took a moment to look back over at Casey and Sara. Sara was in a red mini dress and Casey was in a white tuxedo. Standing together, they were red, white and blue. Dick was right. “Maybe it was accidental.”

 

“Or maybe the plane was a rockin'.” Dick shrugged and turned away.

 

Logan leaned back towards him. “Maybe it was a stylist.” He sighed as he looked back to Veronica. Casey was escorting both of the women down the stairs. Veronica's eyes were scanning the crowd, but hadn't found Logan yet. She had a soft, content smile on her face before she saw someone she knew and her face lit up. Logan turned his head and watched as Wallace and Mac met her at the bottom of the stairs. He watched them hug each other and Veronica introduced them to Casey and Sara. Casey wrapped an arm around Sara, but left Veronica alone.

 

Logan had to chuckle at himself. He had let Dick's idea of the three of them being a thing into his brain and poison his thoughts. Veronica wasn't with Casey. Casey wasn't interested in Veronica. He took a step towards her, but stopped. He didn't want to seem desperate. He didn't want to be pushy or get too anxious. He was here. If she wanted to see him, she could find him. He looked back and saw Dick at the bar. He finished his drink and headed that way.

 

Dick raised a brow. “Well, that was quick. Ready to leave and sulk?”

 

Logan smirked and ordered some scotch. “Nah. I'm going to let her come to me.”

 

Dick let out a scoff and shook his head.

 

“What?” Logan lost his grin. He looked to his normally carefree friend. Any other time, Logan was sure Dick would make the woman work for it, whatever it was. Dick's reaction cause Logan to pause.

 

“You worry about her being with other dudes and showing up with Casey.” He sighed. “She got on a plane and came to a place where you were. She already came to you. Don't be that dipshit that makes her do all the damn work.”

 

Logan grinned again. “You are right.”

 

Dick nodded. “Of course, I am. Also, she's hella short and she can't see you in this mass of people.”

 

Logan slapped a hand on Dick's back and took his drink off the bar. He walked towards the direction he last saw her in. He bobbed and weaved through the crowd a bit before he saw her. She was standing with her back to him, but Mac saw him. He stopped walking and gave her a little smile. Mac returned it and leaned in closer to Veronica. Veronica turned fast enough that her wavy hair bounced around and looked up over her shoulder at him. Her eyes sparkled and a grin appeared on her face as she turned to face him completely. She hadn't aged since he last saw her. Her hair was a bit longer, but that was really the only change he noticed. She took a moment to take him in, which allowed him to do the same for her, before she broke eye contact.

 

Veronica turned back to her friends before she looked at Logan again and nodded towards the hallway. She worked her way to the exit as she got lost in the crowd. Logan followed while trying desperately to not run. It wasn't a chase anymore. He knew she was trying to find a place they could talk.

 

He made it to the door and looked back at the party. He didn't see her waiting, so he slipped out into the hall and looked around. A sharp whistle echoed down the hall and he winced. He turned and saw her tucked away in a windowed nook. She was smirking, like she knew all the secrets. She knew his. He slipped his hands into his pockets, mostly to hide that they were shaking, but to give the illusion of confidence.

 

“I see you learned the proper way to hail a cab.” Logan looked around. “Doubt one will show up here though.”

 

Veronica grinned wider. “I use it to boost the egos of construction workers too.”

 

Logan stopped a few feet from her, resisting the powerful urge to snatch her into his arms. “So, should I be flattered?”

 

“Oh, you didn't see the YMCA guys duck in while you were ducking out?” Her eyes were playful. She looked relaxed and comfortable. She looked mature, if only in the way she no longer stuck her chin out to prove she belonged, but let herself be.

 

“Missed them.” Logan couldn't keep the smirk off his face. His eyes were glued to hers, as if they knew they had missed out on so much of what she saw. He tore them away to ogle her openly. “You look amazing.”

 

Veronica looked down at herself and moved the dress a bit with her hands. “Thanks. I lucked out shopping today.” She gestured to his tuxedo. “I'm assuming this is leftover Oscar attire?”

 

“I think this was Emmy, but same era.” He gifted her a wink before he let out a sigh. “I'm really glad you are here.”

 

Veronica lifted a brow. “Yea?” She was teasing him a bit. He knew because she blushed just slightly before she added. “Me too.”

 

Logan felt his face lift in response. “So, before there's any mixed signals, I want you to know some things.”

 

Veronica tilted her head and opened her mouth to argue, but something stopped her. She closed it and gestured for her to continue.

 

“I am single. I have hopes of us getting back together.” He exhaled slowly. “If that can't happen, let's just say so. I shouldn't, but I would wait forever, Veronica.”

 

“Logan.” She reached forward for his hand and he couldn't hear the crowd in the large room next to them or the fireworks going off around them. He heard her say his name and his world stopped. He freed his hands and cupped her face. He didn't remember stepping up to her, but he must had. She had her hands on his hips, holding him steady. His thumbs caressed her soft cheeks before he lowered his head. He was timid, feeling like it was his first kiss all over again. It was the only kiss that mattered anymore. His lips gently pressed against hers.

 

She pulled him closer as she wrapped her arms around him, locking him in place. One of his hand reached behind her head, touching her soft hair, holding her head in place as he deepened the kiss. He felt his nerves chip away. He was left with only her and his feelings for her.

 

She reached up and ran her nails against his hair before pulling him closer. She tugged in further into the nook and broke the kiss. “You always looked good in a tux.” She flashed him a wicked grin.

 

He chuckled and tucked some hair behind her ear. “That is a lovely dress.”

 

Veronica pulled him in closer. But instead of a kiss, she turned his head and whispered in his ear. “I only bought this dress so you could take it off.”

 

Logan groaned before he pinned her against the wall. She let him and he wanted nothing more than to be with her, sans dress. “I need you.”

 

Veronica tilted her head back and looked up at him. She rubbed her thumb against his smooth cheek. “I need you too. More than this, more than tonight.”

 

“I love you, Veronica. All that mess before, with-” Logan started but a small finger stopped his lips from moving.

 

“I love you too, Logan.” She smiled up at him and he felt like he was flying.

 

“Are you ready to get out of here?” He wrapped an arm behind her waist and tugged her close to him. “I'm about to chew through that dress.”

 

“I happen to have a suite nearby.” Veronica blushed and ran her fingers down his arm before interlacing her fingers in his.

 

Logan nodded and stepped back, but didn't let her fingers go. His hands weren't shaking anymore.

 

**Author's Note:**

> There are a few lines (including the title) either taken directly from or inspired by the song Dress by Taylor Swift. It also inspired the party scene at the end. I had it going through my head and knew I wanted to write a scene for it with LoVe. This story fit.
> 
> Please leave Kudos and Comments. Thanks for reading.
> 
> follow me @AdorkableWriter  
> email me adorkableauthor@gmail.com


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